Photo: Cavan Images RF
At a kids’ basketball game made up of 12-year-olds to 14-year-olds, one player stood out to Amy and everyone watching. They called him Larry. He wasn’t the best player on the court, he fumbled the ball often, missed shots, and had a few double dribbles. It was clear he was trying, but things just weren’t clicking for him that day.
While the game went on, one dad in the stands started reacting to Larry’s mistakes. He wasn’t Larry’s dad, just another parent from the crowd, but every time Larry messed up, he’d say things like, “Oh my gosh, Larry!” or quietly mumble, “Unbelievable, Larry. Get it together.” The other parents noticed and felt uncomfortable. Nobody knew exactly where Larry’s parents were sitting, but it made the whole section tense. Some people wondered what might happen if Larry’s dad had heard those comments, since parents can get worked up at youth games. Others agreed that it’s best not to call out another person’s child, no matter how frustrated you are.
Later in the conversation, Eddie admitted that he’s yelled during games before, but only to encourage kids he’s known for years, never in a negative way. For example, he might say, “Come on, Henry, let’s go!” to motivate players he’s familiar with. The group agreed there’s a big difference between positive encouragement and negative remarks. They decided that a good rule to follow at kids’ games is simple: focus on your own kid. Unless you’re the coach, it’s best not to yell at anyone else’s child. Amy shared that her boyfriend has his own system — a “secret sound” that only his kids recognize. No yelling, no shouting, just a quick noise and a hand signal that lets them know he’s cheering them on. Eddie, who had experience coaching, said he used to get frustrated when parents shouted instructions from the stands that conflicted with what he was telling the team. Eventually, he’d ask those parents to sit on the opposite side of the court to avoid confusion.
In the end, the story came back to one simple takeaway from the group: at kids’ games, it’s best to mind your own business and focus on your own child.